How do men understand that the woman they met is the right one? Or, conversely, that you do not need to hurry and you can search for more? What qualities are so clinging to the girl that without five minutes the groom runs to choose a wedding ring? The psychotherapist Brent Berman tells.
Here are five signs that your girlfriend or girl, whom you hope to meet, can become a wonderful wife.
1. It corresponds to most of your ideas about the ideal woman
With age, we begin to understand ourselves, desires and needs much better. We understand what is important to us, and what is secondary. / If you think about the time to finish with the status of a bachelor, determine long-term and short-term goals.
Who would you like to see next to each day? What was needed in 20 years, probably lost its relevance or has changed? At 30 and 60 the priorities look quite different. Customers often say: “We were in love without a memory, so we got married” or “Yes, look at her, she’s a luxurious woman.” These are not the best reasons for associating life with someone. It is better to choose carefully and practical, not forgetting about feelings and passion.
2. You consider her beautiful not only externally, but also internally
External beauty is important, but it is not a decisive factor. Do you feel spiritual intimacy? Are you good with this person? Are your relationships full of dramas and fights or do you easily find a common language and support each other, even when both are not in the spirit and tired? Do you like her as a person, and not just as a beautiful woman? Appearance is changeable, male as well. Look deeper.
3. You have common goals
On the eve of the wedding, the priest, who was supposed to lead the ceremony, gave us with the bride a list of key moments in the life of the couple. Each of us wrote a plan, how we see these moments in 5 and 10 years, finances, children, career, sex, ways to maintain the spirit of romance and not get bogged down in everyday problems. It was very useful and informative. We were able to compare the ideas about the family and make sure that we are going to move along one trajectory.
4. You trust her
Are you often jealous of her? Her friends are single men, but there are no friends? She is one of those who automatically flirting with everyone without hesitation? How do you feel about this, as a natural manifestation of her sociability and friendliness? Or clench your teeth and pick up the password to her phone? Flirting or having male friends does not mean a tendency to change, more important is how you feel in this situation.
Are you ready to live your whole life and not worry? Do you really trust her, or will a worm of doubts sweat you every day? If you do not trust a woman, do not marry, otherwise, it will be bad for both.
5. You can imagine joint old age
Usually, at the beginning of a relationship, we are in captivity of passion. We are sure that we met perfection, the partner has not a single defect, she just thinks about us. Please do not make important decisions during this period.
Here are two simple rules that helped my clients and myself:
- Do not start living together if you meet for less than a year;
- Do not think about marriage if you meet less than two years and live together for less than a year.
At first, we try to show the partner the best version of ourselves. We try to always be nice, considerate, understanding and caring. This does not mean that we are pretending, it’s normal. But no one can constantly wear a mask of idealism. We all deserve that we are loved the way we are. This mask is very difficult to keep, if you live in the same house and see each day for a year, and preferably two or three. Take your time and follow your mind, heart, and intuition, and not what many follow in a fit of passion.